1. |
Romantic Comedy Endings
03:16
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i found myself missing you more than i ever thought i would
and i was terrified by the codependency that i swore off
swore i'd never be a part of
told myself that i don't need anyone else
but what if those love songs and romantic comedy endings were right all along?
what if i was wrong?
i didn't sleep again last night
every time i opened up my eyes
i saw you snoring soundly by my side
can't you just be quiet one damn night?
but i am so glad to see you
i am so sad to leave you / and i never thought i'd say that i found myself missing you more than i ever thought i would
and i was terrified by the thought of just one more night alone
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2. |
Witch Hunt
02:58
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let me die before i do more harm than good
just let me decompose and feed this earth from which i've taken so much
let me shed resentment
and embrace acceptance of the things that i can't change
because if every day's a battle
well, i'll just lay down my guns
and if every day's a witch hunt
i'll just say okay, okay, okay
just let me die
let me live with some degree of surety
and with some concern for future versions of myself
and when i suffer let it be for something more than the way i feel today
let me sacrifice for someone else
because if every day's a battle
well, i'll just lay down my guns
and if every day's a witch hunt
i'll just say okay, okay, okay
just let me die before i do more harm than good
just let me decompose and feed this earth from which i've taken so much
i keep taking so much
i keep taking so much
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3. |
Restless, Tired, Uneasy
03:22
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how many ways can i say i'm restless, i'm tired, uneasy
i'm bored, i'm thinking of leaving
of running, but not quite away
just far enough so i can see what you see when you're looking at me
then maybe i can let go
keep the thoughts from closing in
you said you can't see the forest for the trees
or was it the trees for the forest?
"we've got time but this world's not for us"
you said as we walked away from fires i don't think we started
and if i had a hand i'm sorry
i know that we'll find home eventually
in the forest or the trees
i used to think that you and i could get along
until i saw the way you acted on that stage
like you were too good for this town
well, the college kids all lined up to buy your overpriced stuff
i finished my beer and went home
and thought about how you said you can't see the forest for the trees
or was it the trees for the forest?
"we've got time but this world's not for us"
you said as we walked away from fires i don't think we started
and if i had a hand i'm sorry
i know that we'll find home eventually
we're so happy when we're drinking
we're so happy when we're singing
we're happy riding in the van
but i'm so lonely on the west coast, so tired by the east coast
thinking maybe i could, thinking maybe i should have just stayed home
how many ways can i say i'm restless, i'm tired, uneasy
i'm bored, i'm thinking of leaving
of running, but not quite away
just far enough so i can see
was it the forest, was it just some trees?
thinking maybe i should just stay out of nature entirely
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4. |
The Settling
02:42
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with no one left to look up to, we stumble slowly towards the settling of differences for something like companionship
with nothing left to work towards except getting up at nine to go to work
we proclaim how happy we would be
if we were younger, freer, and wealthier
if we would quit smoking
if we would eat healthier
if we could just get away for a weekend or two - somewhere sunny - then we could breathe easy
with nowhere left to run to we're so crowded we complain of all the space that's taken up by high rises and interstates
and if we had our way we'd just move out somewhere amongst the trees, and birds, and things
live off the land
if only we were younger, freer, and wealthier
if we would quit smoking
if we would eat healthier
if we could just get away for a weekend, but somewhere with cell phone reception then we could finally breathe
fill my lungs with poisoned air
inhale deeply, exhale with a sense of longing to be anywhere but here
shut the windows, close the doors and complain when we can't breathe easy
i thought this smog would clear, it's not how i imagined it would be
easy
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5. |
Manic Depression
03:19
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they found the cancer seven months before my birth
and you got better, i felt my worth
at six years old you said, "you saved my life, you know"
well since then i have always been emotional
some years later, you explained how they don't call it anymore
manic depression
you're going to get it
well, since then, i guess i've been a bit on edge
so when i call you, and you don't call me back
or i don't see you, and i don't know why
i fear i'm all out of good time
and not hurting or being hurt is worth not being alive
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6. |
Something to Believe In
02:58
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for every day you're disappointed
there's another day you find something to believe in
like the look in your eyes when you're singing
think i know just about what you're thinking
and these are the days that we'll talk about when we're old and jaded
i can see it now
it's first friday, we're slurring our words
we don't do this too much anymore, i swear
we're ignoring the bartender closing, talking about our glory days
'cause for every day you find something to believe in
there's another day you're disappointed
like how i hate songs about singing, but i still write songs about singing
how i hate songs about drinking
what else do you do as you slowly descend into high functioning alcoholism?
you're in control, but just barely
you're speeding or slamming on the brakes prematurely or just a few seconds too late
i'm assigning human qualities to cats and dogs
i swear i'm fine
but i'm feeling sentimental for lost t-shirts, certain hand soaps, and math homework
the feeling that washes over me i can't explain
except that for every day you're disappointed
at least it's another day to find something to believe in that will outlast your next disappointment
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7. |
Static Electricity
02:46
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you used to be happier
i know that we are searching for someone to outlast us
you used to be happier
i can't believe you put up with what you put up with
to keep from being lonely
but i know you
you believe (in) the way a crowded room fills with energy
me, i just see no place to breathe
when you are wide-eyed, i am asleep
saw your face from across the room
you looked miserable, i looked confused
how'd we get to the point where we feel so alone in such close company?
you used to be happier
i know that we are searching for someone to pass the time with
now you seem happier
i can't believe you put up with that shit for so long
but i know you
you believe in everyone else, i just believe in myself
so stubborn it seems, sometimes, to me
i'm still drowning, just treading my feet
saw your face from across the room
we're both still miserable, so what's the use?
so selfish, it seems, is the life for me
i won't get shocked by static electricity
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8. |
100 Ways
02:44
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in the other room, i wonder, "what was that you said?"
because just the other day, i thought, "well, we are such good friends"
and every time things get too easy something just up ahead comes crashing down
just the other day, when i thought how nice it is that i can walk almost anywhere
well, you came, you gave me the fear that i should give up the dream of being anything at all in my small town
and when 100 things tell you to stay, the one that says, "go away," sings loud
and with 100 ways to greet the day you lie in bed and tell yourself, "if you were someone else you'd be awake"
and pretty soon tomorrow is today
in the other room, i wonder, "what was that you said?"
my head is spinning with the shit you talk about all your old friends
and every time i let myself alone too long, the panic creeps on back
how many ways can i tell myself, "i'm not strong enough, or smart enough, or living up to the potential for my life"
how many ways can i deny myself the chance to look on the bright side?
and when 100 things tell you to stay, the one that says, "go away," sings loud
and with 100 ways to greet the day you lie in bed and tell yourself, "if you were someone else you'd be awake"
and pretty soon tomorrow is today
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9. |
Where Do We Go Now?
04:34
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you won $200 playing blackjack
and spent it all before the night was through
(the) bartender knew our drinks before we ordered
oh, i miss those nights hanging out with you
watching tv, getting drunk ‘til morning
talking about how we should take a cruise
spend some time in mexico or something
oh, i miss those nights hanging out with you
and in the morning when we wake up, sober, thinking, "where do we go now?"
i close my eyes for a few desperate moments
i don't know but i know we will make it there somehow
(we) flew 4,000 miles across the ocean
with just our backpacks and the clothes we wore
we drank wine until the flight attendant
said, "i don't think you should have anymore"
exhausted and with a splitting headache, we slept through that whole
first afternoon
when we woke up, we were so excited
oh, i miss those nights hanging out with you
and in the morning when we wake up, sober, thinking, "where do we go now?"
i close my eyes for a few desperate moments
i don't know but i know we will make it there somehow
but we've said it all before
how we were happy when we were fucked up and fucking up
and even then, we thought that we were happy when things were like they were before
so in the morning when we wake up, sober, thinking, "where do we go now?"
i close my eyes for a few desperate moments
i don't know but i know we will make it there somehow
i don’t know but i know we will make it there somehow
i don't know but i know we will make it there somehow
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10. |
What Would It Take?
03:09
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you sang a song, said it meant something to you
well, i don't see how you can feel anything when you can't stand up straight at nine o'clock, nightly
i'll take my third beer at midnight then fall asleep
i always wanted to be someone useful
so i get up early once every two weeks
clean the countertops, sweep the floors
then reward myself with coffee and sweets
we always said we'd be honest
well, honestly, i'm just trying to stay sane
running in circles has got me so tired
i'm thinking of running away
i always thought that i'd die onstage
well, i guess that i am full of it that way
ain't it wild how the years pass away?
while i stay at home and quietly age
we always said we'd be honest
well, honestly, i'm just trying to stay sane
running in circles has got me so tired
i'm thinking of running away
then a little spark starts a fire
and i think of all of the reasons to stay
but no other high gets me higher
will i level out or just fade away?
what would it take?
what would it take?
you sang a song, said it meant something to you
well, i just wish i could feel anything other than this sad, sinking feeling
that rattles around every day in my brain
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11. |
Hands
03:55
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i remember your hands in the halls of our high school
you never gave me the chance to say i didn't want to
i could tell, even then, that you wanted more than my skin on your skin
but we closed our eyes, we played at passion
we both wanted so bad to fit in
me and him sneaking out after dark
his hand on my head in the back of my car
my palms got sweaty, his smell made me sick
i just thought this is what growing up is
and in each other's arms we fought to find out what it really means to get by in a world that relies on distorting reality
and with our legs pressed together we fought to find some way to survive
like maybe we'd seen on tv from a culture that took advantage of our teenage sexuality
i remember your hands that summer in chicago
leaving home for the first time, we said we'll do what we want to
we took it too far, and you wondered why i'd wake up at night nervous and shaking
well, i was so scared of letting you down that month after month, i kept on faking it
and in each other's arms we fought to find out what it really means to get by in a world that relies on distorting reality
and with our legs pressed together we fought to find some way to survive
like maybe we'd seen on tv from a culture that took advantage of our teenage sexuality
i remember your hands in the halls of our high school
we both came out with scars, lost and confused
i'm not better off for it, but i'm learning every day
and i hope that we can build a world where those scars finally fade
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